Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
