Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
