I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
