um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
