the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
