Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
