kristin has been a bad kristin
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
