this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
