the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Girls should come with a carfax report
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
