Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
