my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
