can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
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