Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
