you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize