Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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