I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
