I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
