I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
