so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize