she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
