Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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