i was born a porn star she said
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
