i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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