did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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