I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
