Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
