Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
