you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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