Do you still have your period?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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