i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
