I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
