oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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