We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
