Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
