Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
worst night to have a conscience
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
