This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
