I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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