Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
