I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
