90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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