You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
