I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Boobs are out for the taking
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
