We're facebook friends in real life
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
