I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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