Jerry, you need to find god
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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