I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize