these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
