I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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