and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
