Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
As shirtless as possible
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
