K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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