this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
