don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
