I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
