Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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