She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
