u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
