OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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