she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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