Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
