I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
