You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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