why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
