And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
