I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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